Faith

I've been thinking about faith a lot lately. You see, my family and I have been thrown into a situation, and there's a very real chance only the grace and mercy of God will see us through to the other side intact.

It's not of our doing, nor have we done anything wrong, but it's sadly something that will take time, heartache and faith to fix.

I obviously don't want to be any more specific than that, but it has kept me thinking about faith.

We've been through some really hard times before, and I've always seen God's hand guiding us through. Sometimes not until afterwards, as you do, but His signature on the work was eventually found. Usually when you discover that something happened that helped you tremendously, but you didn't find out until long after. You are then left feeling guilty that you doubted, but humbled and awed and desperately grateful in the same trembling breath.

I have another issue in this though. Whilst I have no reason to feel that God is not in control, nor that He will allow us to fall in this circumstance; I know He has the power to end this at any point - but I fear that, as it's me, I am not worthy of being saved from this.
I know He could, but not that He would.
I believe, help my unbelief.

Don't all shout at once!
I know this thinking is flawed, it comes from my faltering sense of self-esteem. I find it hard to keep it tied down and under control at times like this.

We are all guilty of far worse than the things I am referring to. Yet God has freely paid that price for us all, including me. There is no good reason that He would not save me from this too. It's true I don't deserve to be saved, but neither does anyone else.

Yet still there are times when God saves, and times He does not, and we have no understanding of the differences in those people.

I know we aren't living for this life, we live for what comes next, but I must support and cradle my faith so I can make it that far.

Why the photo of Dog1? He told me something about faith today.

This was the picture I just took while he watched me eating breakfast. We don't feed the dogs from our plates, I hate being oggled for every mouthful, so they usually get sent to lie down elsewhere till everyone is finished. They get the leftovers in their bowls when it's time for their dinner.

Yet they both insist there is still a chance worth waiting for. They watch us with their eyes and noses, whilst trying not to look like they are paying attention with their bodies. Their faith has not been rewarded in years, not by me at any rate! Yet they watch everyone the same, quietly sneaking closer on their bellies if you don't spot them.

At the end, they gratefully, and graciously, inhale (imaginary?) crumbs from the floor by your feet and seem instantly satisfied. That tiny insignificant crumb is enough to keep their faith till the next meal.

What if my faith was like that? Quietly counting on God's grace and mercy at every opportunity, crawling on my belly to His feet that I may catch every tiny insignificant Blessing that falls.

The dogs aren't stupid, nor has this behaviour been deliberately reinforced, so they must genuinely have a heart full of hope. They may well die without this daily ritual of faith being rewarded.

I wonder, could I do that?

I also wonder, if when I look at God the way dog1 looks at me in this photo, is He also moved by His love for me to consider that silent plea?

My faith stands. It's all I am asked to do.