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Thursday, January 23, 2014

Bumps to babes, and babes to big girls.

Well, after a completely unnecessary long break, I'm back.

First things first, introducing DD2! She came 12 days late on the 28th September 2013, but thankfully all by herself after I declined induction.

She has since then been diagnosed and commenced treatment for hip dysplasia. Sadly a month in a Pavlik harness didn't do enough, so she is booked for an arthogram next week. This is when they inject dye into her hip under a general anaesthetic, and use x-ray to determine what is stopping her hip from staying in joint. They will then perform either a closed reduction, and fit a spica cast, or possibly bring her back another day if she needs an open reduction.

I'm utterly gutted, but not in the way you might think. Yes, it's better now than after she's walking, yes, she's not suffering at this age because they don't know this isn't normal, yes, it's curable with very little chance of ongoing issues. But I grew this little girl, my body put her together out of materials carried in my very bloodstream, I protected her from every possible harm both before and after she was born. I'm not blaming myself that one part of her went together badly, that would be pointless.

I feel so bad because I can't protect her from being handed over by her own mother, to be forced into sleeping so a group of (very good, kind, professional and talented) almost strangers can inject dye into her hip and possibly perform surgery to put her hip into the place it should be; and from waking up feeling strange, smelling strange things, possibly feeling sick or hurting.

I can't protect her from that - I actually have to give her up to it.

:-(

Sx